Enneatype 3
Vanity • Authenticity
Birth injury refers to an emotional or psychological wound experienced in the first years of life, particularly during early childhood. This wound originates in family experiences and dynamics and can leave a deep mark on a person’s personality and the way they relate to themselves and others.
Birth wound: Feeling of not being worthy of love.
The birth wound of enneatype 2, also known as “The Helper” or “The Giver”, is related to the feeling of having been abandoned or not being loved unconditionally from birth. Individuals of this enneatype may have experienced a lack of attention or emotional care during their childhood, which generates a deep emotional wound.
This wound can lead to a constant need to be loved and accepted by others. Type 2s may seek external approval and love excessively, often sacrificing their own needs and desires to please others. They feel a strong desire to be needed and valued for their ability to help and care for others.
Shadow (weaknesses)
In imbalance Enneotype 3s are known to become obsessive about goal achievement and success in the external realm. They may be constantly seeking validation and recognition through their achievements, and their self-esteem may depend heavily on external performance and recognition.
Ego Characteristics: Competitive, Ambitious, Narcissistic and Workaholic.
Idealizes: The Achiever idealizes the recognition and admiration of others for his achievements and success.
Desires: The Achiever desires to stand out, to be admired and recognized for his achievements and performance.
Avoids: Avoids failure, mediocrity and being seen as incompetent or inefficient.
Greatest fear: The Achiever’s greatest fear is to be considered a failure and to not fulfill the expectations of success that he/she has of him/herself.
Defense Mechanism: The Achiever’s defense mechanism is identification with the role and masks of success, hiding his or her true feelings and vulnerabilities behind a facade of perfection and achievement.
Resists: The Achiever resists showing his or her weaknesses and failures, avoiding situations where he or she may be judged or questioned.
Self-image: The Achiever sees him/herself as a successful, ambitious and capable person, excelling in his/her field.
How manipulates: The Achiever manipulates through the projection of an image of success and competence to gain recognition and admiration from others.
Personality disorder (when very unbalanced): Narcissistic.
Light (qualities)
In balance Enneatype 3’s are known for accepting and valuing who they are, beyond their external achievements or success. They recognize their own intrinsic worth and love themselves for who they are at their core.
Essential Characteristics: Effective, Enterprising, Sincere and Resolute.
Essential Quality: The capacity for achievement and efficiency. Individuals of this Enneatype are driven by an innate desire to excel, achieve goals and succeed in various areas of their lives. They are highly motivated and goal-oriented, and have the ability to focus their energy and effort on obtaining tangible results.
Vital Learning: Vital learning for Enneotype 3 involves discovering and embracing their true self beyond external achievements and public image. It is important for them to learn to connect with their authenticity and to cultivate a sincere relationship with themselves.
Psychological challenge: How will they value me if I stop impressing them and show myself as I am?
Self-acceptance: Enneatype 3 in its luminous part develops deep self-acceptance, valuing and loving themselves for who they are in essence. They recognize their own intrinsic worth and do not depend exclusively on external achievements to feel valid and loved.
Balance between being and doing: Enneatype 3 in its luminous part finds a healthy balance between its drive for achievement and its authenticity. He recognizes that his value is not only in what he achieves, but also in his essence as a human being.
Drive to Improve: The Enneotype 3’s drive to improve drives them to seek to develop new skills and competencies relevant to their goals and ambitions. They may spend time and effort on training, education and knowledge acquisition.
Why know your ego
By knowing their ego, Enneatype 3s can identify when they are sacrificing their own needs or setting unrealistic expectations for themselves in pursuit of external recognition and validation. This gives them the opportunity to set healthy boundaries and find a balance between their drive for achievement and their personal well-being.
Triad
In the Enneagram, the “triad” refers to one of the fundamental aspects of the enneatype that are classified into three main groups. These clusters represent three centers of intelligence or predominant approaches to processing information and coping with the world. Each of these clusters is associated with three specific personality types.
Triad: Enneatype 3, also known as the Achiever or the Enforcer, belongs to the Heart or Emotion triad. The Heart triad is characterized by having a stronger connection with emotions and being motivated by the need to be loved, appreciated and valued.
Centering: When the Enneatype 3 is centered it takes on the qualities of the 6, qualities that include a greater capacity for loyalty, trustworthiness and teamwork. The centered 3 enneatype may be more aware of self and others, and may show a greater orientation toward integrity and authenticity in their actions and relationships.
Decentralized: When the Enneatype 3 decenters toward Enneatype 9, it may adopt some of the negative characteristics of Enneatype 9. This may manifest in an increased tendency toward complacency and avoidance of conflict. Enneatype 3 may lose its drive and motivation to excel, seeking comfort and reassurance rather than facing challenges or taking risks.
Enneatype 3
Characteristics
Message lost in childhood
The missing message for Enneatype 3 in childhood is that they are loved and valuable simply for being themselves, beyond their achievements and success.
Triad
Enneatype 3 belongs to the Heart/Feeling Triad, along with types 2 and 4.
Fixing
Passion
The passion of Enneatype 3 is Vanity, which manifests itself as a need to stand out and be recognized for its achievements and success.
What it focuses on
Enneatype 3 focuses their attention on how they can stand out, achieve goals and gain recognition and admiration from others.
Primary motivation
The main motivation of Enneatype 3 is to be admired and recognized for their achievements, seeking external validation and avoiding any sign of failure or lack of success.
Unconscious message received during childhood
The unconscious message received by Enneotype 3 in childhood is that they will only be loved and valued for their achievements and success, which can lead them to constantly seek external validation.
EnNeatYpE 3
Wings
Enneatype 3 may have wings that refer to adjacent numbers on the enneatype circle, i.e., enneatype 2 and enneatype 4. Wings are subtypes that influence the personality and behavior of the main enneatype, in this case, Enneatype 3.
Enneatype 3 wing with tendency to enneatype 2:
may show more service-oriented traits and connection with others. Threes with wing Twos may be more friendly and sociable, and may focus on building relationships and helping others. They have a greater ability to adapt to different situations and may show a greater concern for approval and recognition from others.
Enneotype 3 wing with a tendency to Enneotype 4:
may show more authenticity and individuality oriented traits. Threes with a Four wing may have a greater sensitivity and a search for meaning and purpose in their lives. They may be more creative and expressive, and may have an inclination toward exploring their emotions and unique identity.
enneatype 3 at its best version
Conscious actions
Understanding your enneatype is vital for your consciousness/spiritual development process, because it allows you to see and recognize what you are doing unconsciously in response to your woundedness. If you have reached this point it is because you want to generate a change and act from your consciousness and not from your ego, in other words from your love and not from your fear. Here are some suggested routes of conscious action for you to begin to generate a change.
Conscious actions for Enneatype 3 involve cultivating genuine authenticity, exploring your true desires and motivations, and developing a deeper connection with your own self, beyond achievements and external image. It also involves learning to value process and personal growth, rather than just external results.
Work on being genuine and showing your true self, rather than hiding behind a facade of success and achievement.
Learn to love and value yourself unconditionally, beyond your achievements and external recognitions.
Instead of pursuing success just for external validation, set goals that are aligned with your personal values and passions.
Allow yourself to explore and feel your authentic emotions instead of repressing or ignoring your feelings in pursuit of an image of perfection.
Seek relationships based on genuine connection and reciprocity, where you can be yourself without the need to impress others.
